#A hooded figure attacks the hero in the show we’re watching#
The Doc: Ninja?
Me: I don’t think so.
The Doc: Some evil sect, then.
The Doc: I said sect.
Me: There’s not a lot of difference when you say it.
The Doc: Sex sect.
Me: Would that be a sext?
The Doc: A sex sect sext?
Me: Sect sexting?
The Doc: Sex secting?
Me: Sexting sex sect?
The Doc: Sexy sect. Sexting.
Me: What is wrong with us?
The Doc: This is normal!
The Doc: We’re normal! This is what normal people do!
Watching old TV series and editing self-indulgent porn fic. This is how to relax.
I had an occasion to look up this site again for a friend, and I thought there might be others who could benefit from it. It’s a resource for those who are concerned they may be being verbally and/or emotionally abused. It’s called You Are Not Crazy and it’s got a lot of excellent resources.
Even if you aren’t in its target audience I really recommend that you read it to see what the signs are in case it happens to you or someone you know.
You may have already answered my following question but I'm new to your blog. It's great! But I want to ask if a midwife can do a pelvic exam? I'm 21 and I know I need to get one but I don't feel comfortable with a a hospital gynecologist doing it. I've had sexual trauma with a doctor in the past so I'd feel better with a midwife. So can they? If they cannot, what would you recommend I do?
I get a lot of questions asking about how to have a comfortable, safe, annual exam, or if you absolutely have to do it.
- So, let’s start with, do you have to go to the gynecologist/midwife? I guess it’s a free country, right? No, no one is going to clap you in irons and drag you to the clinic. Here are times that I think it’s really a good idea to go to the clinic: When you have specific concerns about your bleeding/pain/sexual activity, when you think you may be pregnant, when you are sexually active and are over the age of 21, when you want birth control. I personally think it’s a good idea for everyone to go visit the midwife/Gyn at some point once they turn 21 whether they’re sexually active or not, but if you’re not sexually active you can make the decision to defer your annual exam until later.
- Can a midwife do my pelvic exam? Absolutely! Are you kidding? Midwives give awesome pelvic exams. Midwives can do all your low-risk vagina-related healthcare. If they ever get into a realm where they can’t prescribe you the medication or do the procedure you need, they’ll refer you to an ObGyn they trust.
- What can I expect from an annual visit? It’ll be similar to any other doctor’s visit you’ve had. You sign in at the front desk, wait, get called back to have your information taken by a nurse, wait, get your blood pressure, height, weight, temp, etc taken, wait, change into a paper gown, wait, then finally the clinician will come in. They’ll talk to you a little bit, get some information about your medical history, why you’re there today, what you want/need out of the visit. Then expect the clinician to press on the lymph nodes behind your ears and down your neck, across your collar bone. The clinician might stand in front of your or behind you while putting a hand on either side of your neck and ask you to swallow - they’re checking your thyroid. They’ll listen to your lungs with a stethoscope to your back, and your heart with a stethoscope to your chest. They may have you drop your gown down and do arm motions in front of them so they can watch your breast tissue moving, then they have you lie back on the table for the traditional breast exam. That involves the clinician pressing on your breast tissue with one or two hands and assessing for lumps while your arm is above your head. They may move on at that point to press on your abdomen. Then comes the pelvic exam. You’ll put your feet in the footrests and scooch so that your butt is at the edge of the table. The clinician will pull the sheet over your lap up so that they can assess your vulva. They will wear gloves and touch the outside of your vulva to visualize all of it. They will insert a speculum into your vagina to see your cervix and do the pap smear, which is a swab that is brushed on the end of your cervix. It is very quick. They can/might test you for gonorrhea and chlamydia right then - a very small swab is used to soak up some cervical mucus - you often don’t feel that at all. Once the speculum is removed, the clinician will insert two fingers of one hand with lubricant into your vagina, and with the other hand they’ll press down on your lower belly. They are assessing the size and shape of your ovaries and uterus. Then you’re done!
- What can I do to make it more comfortable for me? Read this post.
- How do I find a provider that I’m comfortable with? There are lots of types of providers that do GYN annual exams: an Obstetrician-Gynecologist doctor, a Family Practice doctor, a primary care doctor, a Family Practice Nurse Practitioner, a Women’s Health Nurse Practitioner, a Certified Nurse Midwife, and Physician’s Assistant/Associates. I trust Planned Parenthood a lot, and you can find a Planned Parenthood clinic near you with this website. You can also google a little bit. For example, if you’re looking for a clinic in Charleston, SC, you can google “charleston sc midwife” or “charleston sc gynecologist” or “gyn clinic” or “sexual health clinic”. On your first visit to a new provider you do not have to have a pelvic exam. Your first visit can be just a chance to chat, see what needs to be done, see if you like them. If you feel comfortable at that point, you can make another appointment with them for an annual, or you can even ask them if they have time to do the annual right then. You have the right to refuse care if you do not understand the reason, if you are not comfortable with the provider, or for any other reason. Do not be afraid to tell them you’d rather wait, or that you want a second opinion. Like I’ve said before, healthcare providers are working for you. They are providing you with a service that you are paying for (through your insurance). You hold the power.
Ok friends, good luck! I hope you have wonderful, easy pelvic exams!